When you think of your relationship as a living, thriving thing it is much easier to understand why it takes effort to keep it alive. When you ignore any aspect of your relationship it will become stale and boring, which is what leads you to places like this to find out how to spice up a relationship. The good news is that it is never too late to get the va-va-voom back in the bedroom. The bad news is that you may have to bite the bullet and take the lead to get what you want.
Learning how to spice up a relationship isn’t difficult if you’re willing to really look inside yourself and figure out what gets your motor running. It takes a bit of self-reflection and confidence to do what it takes to turn up the heat between the sheets, but it can be done!
First, Talk About It
Before you launch an all out sex offensive to spic up your relationship, you’re going to have to communicate with your partner. This is actually the hardest part for most couples which is exactl why it is so important.
First talking about sex leads to thinking about sex and wanting to have sex. But it is also because talking about sex is a great way to let your partner know that you haven’t lost interest in sex or them Sometimes that information is enough to make you both remember everything you know about how to spice up a relationship!
Once you have the information you need, jump into it and have fun!
1) Have Sex
Most of us operate under this assumption that good sex, great sex needs to be spontaneous in order to be memorable and satisfying. Trust me when I tell you that there is nothing about putting sex on a calendar that makes it less than mind-blowing. In fact by putting it on the calendar you are already learning how to spice up a relationship…by having sex!
It doesn’t matter how busy life gets, making time to have sex is the foundation of a steamy relationship. You need regular sex in order to buil up trust in the bedroom so you can be adventurous and playful. Once you are having sex regularly, you both will find it easier to voice your wants and desires.
2) Indulge A Fantasy
If you want to know how to spice up a relationship, my advice is to dig into your memory bank. Think of the fantasies you’ve had about things you’d love do, whether it is a carriage ride through the park or dressing up as your favorite superhero. Why not use one of those long-held fantasies to heat your relationship back up?
I don’t think fantasies are simply meant to be something we want to do someday . I think of fantasies as more of a wish list or a to do list, that you just haven’t gotten around to yet. Since you’ve been having sex regularly you’re confident talking about the things you want.
So I want you to describe to your partner—in detai—the fantasy you want acted out. If you need costumes or props to make the fantasy happen…get them and make a plan.
3) Use Your Words
One of the reasons so many couples look up how to spice up a relationship is because they allow the rest of the world to dictate their actions. If I told you don’t be afraid to talk dirty to your partne would you cringe in horror thinking about using crude words that never cross your lips? Chances are good that right now you’re nodding your head like crazy.
Well I want you to scratch that. When I say ‘use your words’ I mean be descriptive, not necessarily graphic. If you and your honey like explicit words to turn you on, go for it. If you prefer a less profane way to get your jollies, then go for description. You don’t need to go that far out of your comfort zone to learn how to spice up a relationship, but it couldn’t hurt to be more…vocal
Start with the fantasy we talked about earlier and just describe it. What you’d be wearing, what they would wear and what music would be playing and lay it all out. Look at your mate’s body language for cues to see if it’s working.
4) Add A New Position
Contrary to what many busy couples believe, ther are more than three sexual positions and learning how to spice up a relationship means you might want to learn a few more. You don’t need to start doing yoga to increase your flexibility, but you should be willing to experiment with your partner. I want you to remember that this isn’t about being explicit or competing with adult film stars; this is about bonding with your partner and finding new ways to please one another.
If you’ve been too shy to try a new position then get a book and look at the various positions…with your partner. Look through the book together and bookmark any that intrigue you so that you can try them. Some you will love and others will bring us to step 5.
5) Laugh In Bed
Sure learning how to spice up a relationship is serious business. Sex is all sensuality and seriousness, blah blah blah. Yes sex can be all that, but that isn’t all it is. You should also be having fun in the bedroom, the shower, the kitchen floor etc…
Trying a new position can wow you, but some of them will make you both laugh out loud and that’s totally fine. Being able to laugh and have a good time in the bedroom means you are comfortable with your partner to know that laughter isn’t a ba thing.
Redefine what you think sex should be and you’ll know exactly how to spice up a relationship that’s getting a little stale.